Monday, December 12, 2005

An Unholy Alliance

Everyone seems to know of the unholy, and slightly disturbing, alliance between Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. It is impossible to walk past a magazine rack without seeing the sickeningly affectionate couple on the front cover of at least one publication with that nickname in bold letters that causes bile in my throat: TomKat.

It seems unnatural for these two people to be together and completely unexpected. And yet, despite the unsettling relationship, people can't stop buying magazines with these two on the cover. Like all historic days, I remember the day the relationship was announced. I was sitting at my desk when Melissa stormed in, screaming in a deafening roar that TomKat was an abomination against God. And now with the expectation of their baby, sickeningly nicknamed Tomkitten, press coverage of the couple has reached ridiculous levels.

CNN debated whether the relationship was a hoax. The pregnancy was a top news story on major television networks, as if it was the second coming of Christ. Websites claim that Kat has been brainwashed by Tom's religion, scientology, or that there was a contract between the two that would ensure marriage for at least five years. Others are convinced that this entire monstrosity is a desperate attempt to gain publicity. If publicity is what the couple wanted, they certainly succeeded to an insane degree.

Tom Cruise jumping on Oprah's couch, screaming that he is in love keeps replaying as a short clip. His now infamous interview with Matt Lauer in which the actor claimed that he knew the history of psychiatry is now mentioned whenever Cruise's craziness is discussed. In case anyone missed the book in stores, the title is "Dr. Tom Cruise's History of Psychiatry."

Still, people can't get enough. Everything about TomKat moved so quickly: making out for the cameras, becoming engaged, TomKat with child. I hope the fadeaway comes and goes as quickly as most Hollywood marriages or I won't ever be able to watch "Dawson's Creek" or "Vanilla Sky" again without throwing up.


Blogger Melissa said...

I still say Cocktail was Tom's greatest movie!!

11:20 PM  

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